Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Transition and the Journey 3: Finding a friend in the journey.

Coming back to a conversation between Me and Myself. It has been a while since the two have chatted. Let us see what they are up to...

Me: Myself!... where have you been?

Myself: Not far away. I just haven't been talking much to you ... that's all.

Me: Some would call that sanity.

Myself: I have been having some interesting conversations in the last few weeks with a good friend of ours.

Me: Yeah. I know who. She's pretty convicted about her understanding of life and her beliefs.

Myself: She is. And I am proud of her for that. My beliefs and understanding of life weren't so different from hers at one time.

Me: But they are now. How do you remain such close friends after all that you have been through.

Myself: I wonder sometimes. What I really love about our friend is her openness to discuss issues or hot topics that she may be so adamantly opposed to. We don't get angry, but our conversations are very intense. We have challenged each other on many levels of thinking.

Me: That must be painful not to share something so close to your heart with her.

Myself: I don't know if it is painful. We are very different. And we shared a lot and still share a lot. I am going through a major change in my life and she seems to be the one person that I can trust with the reality of it all. She knows where I came from and I think she may feel safe knowing that I haven't abandoned my faith in God... just a part of what most people identify with faith. Something that she still holds dear.

Me: She has invited you to church on occasion, right?

Myself: Yes. I have been to her church, once. It is not that I am opposed to ever going again. I am just not interested right now.

Me: Do you find church boring?

Myself: Sometimes and some places... yes.

Me: What do you find boring?

The program. The rigidity of the service, the rules and regulations that seem to leave a big hole when it comes to relating with people.

Me: You had been struggling with that long before you stopped "going to church".

Myself: Oh yeah.

Me: Do you want to elaborate?

Myself: I am scared to.

Me: Why?

Myself: Scared of offending those who still find great purpose within the walls of their local congregation. Offending people like my family, and close friends.

Me: What do you say when people ask you "Where do you go to church?"

Myself: You know something. No one has asked that in a very long time. I haven't had to face the awkwardness of that moment yet. My family knows, but we never discuss my reasons or convictions behind my departure. My friend and my confidant is the only one that has entertained conversation with me about this on a regular basis. It seems ironic. But the one person who is helping me through this transition is someone who may never go through it herself.

Me: She is content. As is your family.

Myself: She is. But she has given me chance to voice my thoughts. That is a true friend. One that is not offended by someone's differences. And I get that in her. I have seen it with her in other situations.

Me: We have to go to work. Can we continue this later?

Myself: Okay.

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